my favourite sentences...


You can hide memory, but you can't erase the history that produced them.

It was sad to see what used to be so fundamental to our lives fade away and disappear in front of our own eyes.

Words don't come out when you're deeply hurt. That's why people keep silent and give no explanation. Yet, Murakami once wrote in his novel, 1Q84, "If you can't understand without an explanation, you can't understand with an explanation." Sometimes, people tend to not wanting to understand things instead of wanting to understand things. In short, they tend to ignore the possibility of trying to understand things.

do you know what makes life interesting?
--> it's interesting because we don't know what the future holds for us. don't blame the fate. we decide our fate, it's our choice. we can't choose where to be born, but we can certainly choose the way we live our life...

the life is yours, why bother asking other people to paint it for you?...

when we're small our word has never been counted; when we're big every word has always been counted...

i may not be able to wait thirteen months for you, nor until you are twenty-five, but i can wait for you a lifetime -- Under the Hawthorn Tree by Ai Mi

waiting, though one minute, it's still unbearable...

death doesn't mean that we are no longer existing. death just means a move to another world...

why can parents wholeheartedly sacrifice everything for the happiness of their children, even their life? but why can't their children, whom they give birth to, do the same thing to them? what power is it that encourages them to do so?....

the thing i'm most afraid of is ME. of not knowing what i'm going to do. of not knowing what i'm doing right now.

people always meet new friends. but they should not forget their old friends. because without your old friends we don't have a chance to meet new friends. the memories with our friends will be there forever in our brain. we can't omit it though time passes.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Globalization and Crisis


Globalization has shrunk our world smaller and smaller. People get connected everywhere around the globe. They started using common international language to ease their communication with other people living in different part of the world. First they started their connection from trade with neighboring countries, later on, move to farther and farther distance, even across the continent. Nowadays, as relation grows their economies link to one and other becomes a messy net. If one is affected, the other would, though, at the other part would receive the sight affect as well. We are now living in a society so-called global network. As the Asian Financial Crisis, in 1997, is an undeniable example. It first exploded in Thailand, sooner, it spread further to Taiwan, Singapore, Hong Kong, as well as Indonesia and others. That is proved what globalization era is. Being a member of global communities, we could not avoid any problem of which has become and is considered common problem that everyone has to tackle with. For instance, environmental problem, no one would decently stay untouched without any affect from other country environmental problem. We could not say air pollution is only this or that country’s issue. We have to recognize these environmental issues as shared problems that need to tackle and solve cooperatively.

After crisis, we lost something and at the same time learnt a lesson. From the lesson learnt we could improve ourselves to better performance. Is it possible to avoid or prevent crisis? What mechanisms should we apply to protect ourselves from crises? Is it crisis a repeated problem occurring every decade as experts said?

In dealing with crisis, I think, cooperation may be considered a powerful tool to help better situation. Just recently, in debt crisis most European countries have faced, China has stepped in to help some European countries to deal with their financial situation by providing loans. Some people said this step in of China was hidden behind some reasons. However, to me, I would think Chinese involvement in helping some European countries was good; at least, China could help other countries not to fall in debt and avoid creating more problems in their societies, for instance, unemployment.


Personally, in globalization context, cooperation is better than competition. For I see in competition there are only two parties: loser and winner.

belly and handsome-ness

when a guy starts to lose weight, most people say that he does not look handsome as he used to be. their comment reflects that the concept of handsome is a person, particularly a guy, having more meat or having belly. many years ago a person with belly showed that he was a rich person. the concept of rich for most Cambodian people is that you have enough or more than enough food to fill your stomach. i believe that this mindset stuck in people's mind for some reasons. looking back to three decades ago, Cambodian people had suffered the most tragic pain in their life. that was the Khmer Rouge regime. most Cambodian people's livelihood had been restricted. everyone had suffered from starvation and malnutrition. daily calorie was not fully offered to Cambodian people in order to support their daily task, which is to say, to support the Khmer Rouge revolution to reach "the great leap forward." after the khmer rouge regime collapsed, Cambodian people, whom had been starved for more than three years, started to look for something to fill their stomach besides looking for their lost relatives. during the search for food to satisfy their hungry stomach, many Cambodian people died again. this time they died of eating too much food that their abdomen could support or digest at a time. i can understand their feeling of having no food to eat for so many years. they wanted to compensate what they had lost or been deprived of. that's why when they saw a guy having big belly, they thought that he was rich and had enough food at home, and he was handsome.

however, i think this trend is now totally different and changed. a handsome guy is a person who has good shape of body. having big belly is no longer handsome nor rich. in fact, having big belly in present society reflects that a person is careless about his own's health. being fat faces a lot of health issues not only in the near future but also in the present.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Will we have air to breathe tomorrow?

Having sat in class for months studying about globalisation, I felt distracted and disappointed upon what I have discovered. Almost everything is a failure. It seems like we are testing everything to whether check if any implication is suitable. In globalization class last week, we discussed about social movement and the failure of international institutions for instance IMF. Does globalization bring development or problem? Why do people protest against this kind of international body? Or does this international body only represent the rich while they neglect the poor? What is their policy towards development?

Still, I could not think of any way out of the issues brought by globalization. Before, we lived in the small village and appreciating our lives peacefully with the nature. But now, in globalization era: once we were born; then when we are in school age, we go to school – getting higher education, seeking for well-paid job and better position we can stand on so that we can enjoy our lives easier; after that, when we are getting older, we retire from our career, and going back to the small village; at the end, enjoying our lives with the nature. Is this kind of life peaceful and happy? Or is everything already set and we have to follow the trend? Living in the village and appreciating the life with the nature is what we used to have longs ago. Is “the end” part of life what we want? Then why should we spend so much time hanging around and experiencing so many problems in our life? Is that a real life? Shall we go back to where we were and start it over again? Yet, it is already late to do so. Almost everything has been destroyed and ruined, and I do not reject what have been developed. However, the problems are already there—environment, natural resources extraction, political problems and confrontations, migration, refugees, regional and international conflicts, and even war; additionally, the recent issue of nuclear power plant in Japan and hydropower dam along Mekong River Basin.

In globalization time, I see only the poor are the victims while the rich could still possibly enjoy their life. Most of them pollute the common environment we share, and the poor are those who suffer the most. The poor are dying owing to the lack of food to support their life. And then, they, the rich, come out and share very very small proportion of their profit in the name of “humanitarian aid”. After that, the poor have to respect and remember in mind their so-called “kindness.” We, the rich and the poor, breathe the same air, but we eat different food, receive different kind of education and healthcare, and maybe live in worse environment than the rich. Overall, we think differently. Will there be fresh air left for us to breathe while it is getting worse from day to day?


I used to be an optimistic person. Yet, it does not exist in my mind any longer for I've heard and read so many problems while I am here in this globalisation class. However, the problems are already there that we should not keep pointing our fingers to one another. We should join hands and deal with these already existing issues. Will there be a new era after globalization?!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Coffee with Love by Jet

CHAPTER SIX

"Hey Lee," Sothea stands up and calls out to Lee, as he sees her coming in. Disturbing, the other students who are sitting there in the library turns to Sothea and warns him to be quiet. Apologetically, Sothea nods his head for several times showing that he had no intention to distract their study. Sothea smiles to Lee as if to invite her to his table.

Sothea is another scholarship student who have been accepted to the Television Production Program at Pearl City Community College one year before Lee. Practically speaking, he is Lee's senior and he is Lee's only Cambodian friend in Hawaii. However, not only in Hawaii do they know one another, they have known each other for many years already since they were in Cambodia. In fact, they were once colleague who had been working together in the same organization. Unbelievably, they were once supervisor and volunteer. Small world, isn't it? Surprisingly, Sothea had also chased after Lee for quite awhile; yet, he did not succeed. Lee had rejected his girlfriend proposal, given that they had different perspective on how they view the world. Lee was quite open minded kind of girl, while Sothea was a bit conservative. As an independent young woman, Lee did not like being owned by a man. Though they did not have a chance to be together as boyfriend and girlfriend, they still befriended with one another.

"What are you doing here?" Sothea inquires Lee and invites her to sit down.
"I don't know what I want to do in here," Lee responds as she sits down on a white plastic chair opposite Sothea. "I don't want to go to my room, and so, I am here."
"Yeah, I know you are here," Sothea surprises. "Are you okay?"
Lee does not reply Sothea's question. She places her bag on the other nearby and lies her chin on her hand.
"Are you okay?" Sothea repeats his question, looking straight into Lee's eyes. But Sothea could not tell if Lee is looking at him though her eyes are open. She must be thinking about something else, Sothea says to himself. Sothea lies down on the table and moves close to her and whispers, "Are you alright?"
"I'm sorry. Are you talking to me?" Lee asks Sothea, as if she just woke up from daydream.
"Of course, I am talking to you," Sothea looks at her. "Or else, I talk to somebody? There is nobody around us. Anyway, are you alright? You seem not yourself."
"I'm fine," Lee says apologetically. "Maybe I just feel a bit tired these days."
"I see," Sothea sighs. "Maybe you are working too hard on your study. You should give yourself some times to relax."
"I think so," Lee smiles.
"You should. End of semester is approaching in a few days."
"I know. I should really relax."
"Do you have any end term assignment to turn in?"
"No, I don't think I have any."
"Good."
"Why?"
"Nothing." Sothea is reluctant for a few seconds before he asks Lee, "Talking about school break, do you have any plan or activity?"
"No," Lee says, after recollecting her memory for a few second in order to check if she has planned any activity during the school break. "I don't have any specific plan."
"How about going with me to Thailand on a research trip?" Sothea suggests to Lee. "I am accepted for a small research grant in Thailand to produce a short documentary film about Cambodian child labor there, and I need an assistant. What do you think about this?"
Being desperate about earlier incident, Lee agrees with Sothea to go with him to Thailand.
"That's great," Sothea excites. "I'll inform my professor about that."
"When is it?"
"This Sunday."
"This Sunday? Wait, what day is it today?"
"Today is Thursday. Are you okay about the plan?"
"No. I think I can manage to get things done by then."
"So, is it a 'Yes'?"
"Yes. I'm in."
"Okay, great. Then I'll go to inform my professor now. Be prepared."
Sothea throws everything into his bag and runs off to see his professor, leaving Lee sitting there alone and confused.

To be continued....



Thursday, April 10, 2014

Coffee with Love by JET

CHAPTER FIVE


One Sunday morning, while Lee is sitting at the coffee shop reading her books, a white, tall, and elegant looking young lady walks into the shop. In nice and smooth silk robe, the young lady is about her age. In her right hand, she carries a black purse which matches perfectly to her white silky robe.

The young lady asks the waiter if Yong is around. Not knowing where he is, the waiter tells her that he has gone out. To where, he has no knowledge. The young lady asks the waiter what time Yong would come back? Usually around lunch time, the waiter replies. Looking at her watch, it shows 10.30am. The young lady asks the waiter if she can wait there for him for a bit in case he drops by before lunch? The waiter nods. The young lady walks towards a table at a corner of the shop next to Lee’s table and asks the waiter if he could get her a glass of water.

The waiter comes back with a glass of water in his hand and asks the young lady, “what business is she looking Yong for?”
“He is my boyfriend,” the young lady says without hesitation. “I want to say ‘hi’ to him.”
“I see,” says the waiter, a surprised note is on his face. “But I have never seen you around before.”
“Right,” the lady says, after sipping the water from her glass. “I just got here yesterday evening.”
“Do you want me to give him a call?” the waiter suggests.
“No, thanks,” the young lady interjects. “I did not tell him about my visit because I want to give him a surprise. You don’t need to call him. I’ll see him when he comes.”
“Then I may excuse myself to serve other customers.”
“Go ahead,” the young lady responds.

As the waiter leaves, the young lady stands up and walks towards the news stand and grabs a local newspaper to flip through while waiting for Yong’s return.

Having heard the young lady announced herself earlier as the girlfriend of Yong’s, Lee is in desperate mood. The pen in her hand drops to the floor. Lee could not sit still in her chair. Her mind is not with her at the moment. A lot of memories between Yong and her flash back into her mind.

“How come he did not tell me about having a girlfriend?” Lee asks herself, repeatedly. “No, he doesn’t need to. I have never asked him myself,” Lee murmurs to herself, angrily. Lee steals a look at the young lady and thinks to herself, confused. “What am I to compare with her? She has the whole package, smart, elegant, high-class, and seemed well educated young woman. I am just a normal girl from a poor background.” Unable to stand the atmosphere, Lee stands up and checks her bill at the counter and leaves for her dorm room.

Along the way back to her dorm, Lee is not in her whole self. She feels her sky is becoming grey. She is lost. She could not think things through. She wants Yong to explain and, at the same time, she doesn’t want him to explain. “Do I need him to explain things to me? Is it not clear enough? How can a young decent lady lie to the waiter about her relationship with Yong? What does she get to spoil her image in front of others? I don’t want to hear his heartbreaking answer ‘Yes, the lady in silky robe is his girlfriend back in Thailand.’ I don’t want to hear all of these things and I don’t want to hear his explanation. Maybe he is getting close to me because he doesn’t have anyone here with him. Maybe he just wants to get laid with someone. Fortunately, I discover his secret in time so that I would not fall into his trick.”

Lee does not go to her room; instead she walks to the library to see her Cambodian friend. She knows that she can’t be at peace hiding herself in her room. She is in confused mess and she needs someone to talk to.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Youth on the Bus: Comic Books, Facebook, Phone Call



Bus may be considered as an important mean of transportation in Bangkok. Most people, particularly students and employees, take public bus back and forth to schools or workplaces. It has since become another part of their life. However, for those who could afford a private car, they would choose their own way of traveling.

During rush hour, significantly when the students and workers leave their schools and offices heading home, the terrible traffic jam have annoyed me once I’m on the bus. It doubles the time I usually spend by walking to get to my place from school. I need to take more than half an hour on the bus with crowded passengers, and flooded vehicles on the road. I am extremely fed up with traveling by bus, and soon I prefer walking rather than taking any bus to school.

Again, on the bus, there are overloaded of passengers heading different destinations. It is therefore bored that you could not do anything freely but stand still breathing smoke into your lung shared by the motorist engines, and, at the same time, there is overpowered by various products of perfume and bodies’ odor. Sometimes, I close my nose or try to turn away from the source for I could not well breathe. However, it does not mean any discrimination against them.

If you are lucky enough, you could find a seat. Unfortunately, most of the time the seats are full once the rush hour falls. Anyway, I do not want to challenge for any seat for they should serve women first. While I am standing on the bus, I could have chance to observe surrounding people: what do most people like doing?

Observing someone does not mean that I want to dig into their privacy, I just want to learn about other people and, the reason is that I am a foreigner who knows little about Thai people in term of daily life specifically young people – my target.

On the bus, besides sitting, I saw some young people were reading books. Wasn’t it good to kill your time by reading a book?! It could help improve our reading skill as what I would say. But the question is that what books are they reading? With my curiosity, I continued my observation. I found that the books they were interestedly reading were filled with black and white color of drawing which covered almost every page and left small space for some text. The text was written exactly in Thai language, and I had no idea what it was about for I cannot speak Thai, let alone read. I guessed it was comic book since I used to see similar kind of this book when I was young, but I did not have enough saving to get one at that time. And the text should be the dialogue between actors presented in the book. The readers did not care about others, for the book was so interesting that you forgot surrounding once you started a page. They did not even catch a glimpse whether or not what was happening around. They would get off only if their destination was alerted. They then got off the bus and folded the page they had read, and disappeared in long distance.

I guess that kind of business is good to run in Thailand nowadays. I could see comic book stores set up in many department stores around Bangkok supplying their customers with diverse choices. I saw flooded of young people wandering around those stores choosing the ones of their favorite – maybe of their favorite actors or heroes – during the weekend. I was born curious, I wonder if they ever choose their books according to the writers or the content of the books for their selection? I asked myself. Still, I did not want to interrupt them. In fact, I cannot speak their language.

I do not know what content is written inside each book – whether or not they help educate their fans, the readers, or the book is just only for fun? It is worth to read a book. However, we have to decide which book could help improve our knowledge. Book is an important source of knowledge, at the same time, it could lead us to either good or bad because of both good and bad influential actors exist in the book. Most importantly, it much relies on the way the readers interpret information of what the authors are trying to transfer.

Besides, reading comic books, other youth also like focusing on their phones. There might any interesting thing consisted inside that I wondered since they could not take their eyes off! Moreover, their hands were busy too, taping buttons of the phone’s keyboard very fast. Was there hot news happening that they wanted to share with their friends? They were extremely busy. In fact, they were using Facebook – a kind of social network through which you could chat, upload photos, post information, share comment on something, and many other possibilities – and is very popular now among teenagers. (I knew these usages for I used to possess a Facebook account of which I found it distracted my study later.) These young students were reading their friends updates on their Facebook profiles and/or commenting something posted on their friends’ wall (I unintentionally saw it). They are very clever and are quick learners that they could skillfully use Facebook or other social networking blogs in communication. I could only make use of it 2 years after I completed my undergraduate degree in 2008.

We could see, because of the advancement of information technology, nowadays, people could connect each other almost everywhere around the world within seconds either through cell phone or computer. More convenience than that, scientists integrate internet program in hand phones so that the users could freely contact their friends and loved ones with their mobile phone everywhere within network coverage and, it is more convenience though they are traveling. However, we have to bear in mind that because of technology, some serious traffic accidents have been reported almost every day which caused by using cell phone or internet during driving.

Those students who were surfing Facebook with their phone looked busy; still, they were quiet for they talk nothing and were only active with their hands. The other groups of young adult, their hands were not busy, but their mouths were rather busy by talking with their mates. Their dialogue seemed like a kind of happy hip hop or rape song with high key volume of music attached with laughing and smiling of which they might think their loud voice could help create better atmosphere for the moment while other aunties, uncles, and elderly on the bus were having a nap. Those elderly usually take the chance of when they are on the bus to relax after whole day of hard work.

Meanwhile, at the other side of the bus, there also existed low and slow romantic music performed by couples of youth. That atmosphere was so sweet that sometimes I felt shy and jealous looking at them for I was always alone witnessing that kind of sugar sweet relationship - they were holding each other's hands, talking and often their eyes created a very sentimental connection of which I could tell as once I used to have that sort of experience.

I believe that it is only a small part of Bangkok people’s life I observed and, I will not generalize that all youth are the same. Frankly, I like observing, for from observation I learn something new and often interesting.


Now, I rarely witness any kinds of the above experiences since I decided to walk to school…

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Trip to Pang Saen Beach, Thailand

I know this event is already past, but everytime I recall it, it is very fresh and very memorable. It is nice to have found persons you can call them "brother and sister" when you were struggling outside your motherland. The trip was made one month after I had finished my pre-session course in 2010.



Locating in Chunbori province, Pang Saen Beach is about two hours drive from Bangkok capital. It was my first trip in Thailand after having settled my new life here for 12 days. I was excited for this opportunity. I could recall first few days that I was in Bangkok, before the Pre-Session course has started, I felt so lonely. I was about to pack my belongings back to Cambodia. It was very challenging at first to end up in a new environment where the language was an obstacle.

Soon, after the course has started, I made friends with all of the classmates. They come from different backgrounds - we have our own stories carrying with. Though, we speak different language in the class, we, still, quite get along with each other. I like all of them, and I am really enjoying staying with them. Most of them come from Burma, a country where the military government has controlled the country over decades. Moreover, I also have an Indonesian and two Thai classmates. They are friendly and helpful. Their smile and laugh fade my loneliness away. I do not feel lonely as I did.

After the first week of the course ended, we had decided to go together to a beach. How could I reject such a good proposed! Shining was the one who planned everything for the team. She is thoughtful and well-prepared. Without her, I thought, this tour would not take place.

I left my apartment at 7 in the morning and traveled to the MRT station at Chamjuree Square next to Chulalongkorn University. Everything was the first experience to me. Again, I got on a metro for the first time. I had to travel from Sam Yan to Kuai Khwang Station, and it runs across 8 stops before reaching the target. I supposed to meet Shining there. After meeting and buying something to drink, we left for the beach.

Our team had 10 people including 4 of Shinging's friends. Three of them come from Cambodia, my motherland.

The beach was quite nice and long. It was a sunny day – good for swimming and sunbathing. I could smell the sea foods once I got off the car. There were many food stalls of various dishes available; starting from appetizers to main courses – almost all were local foods. Visitors could choose whatever they liked. We tried whatever edible. Anyway, I could hardly found any foreign visitors, Westerners, there. Most of them were Thai people who came from the city for a weekend relaxation, I thought. Sometimes, the wind softly touched my shoulder; I felt a sense of relief of exhaustion of a whole week of study.

In the water, there were many kinds of sports available including 'banana balloon'; I used to play once I was in Sihanouk, a coastal province of Cambodia. In addition, visitors could rend a 4 wheels bicycle of which 3 people could ride on it. It was fun. Unfortunately, I missed a chance to try it. Anyway, if we had next time there, I would try once.

I was impressed for this opportunity. Right now, I am pursuing MAIDS program development on development studies. I just read some topic concerning 'development' which its meaning is a change. But, change could be good or bad, it depends on the context.

I viewed Pang Saen is a tourist site attracting many visitors every weekend. In this context, many job opportunities have been provided to local people. They could earn a living by offering visitors foods, drinks, and others support. However, more people gather in one place, there would cause more environmental problems. For instance, rubbish, noise, or water pollution. Therefore, a plan for environmental preservation should be carried out.

In Pang Saen, I could witness lots of plastic bottles or wastes lying on the beach. I could also smell the dead fish nearby. If we just collected those fish, it could fill a basket. To me, it was a sign of water pollution. It does not only affect those lives in the sea, but also the visitors who swim. Some of us did not want to swim as they saw the water was black. Having seen these, an action should be taken to prevent these problems. If there in no any action dealing with these issues, sooner or later, there will be no more tourists visiting the place. Local community's income would be affected.

Moreover, in Pang Saen, I rarely saw any children vending along the beach. It means that in Thailand there is less child labor. In contrast to Cambodia, in Sihanouk province, there are a lot of children trying to sell something to visitors. Those children are supposed to go to school and get knowledge. But, they do not have to a chance as they have to help their parents earning an income to support their family, otherwise, their little brothers or sisters would be starved of no food. I am so sorry to having not enough ability to make a change. I was sad to think about Cambodian.

After having lunch, relaxing and taking some photographs, we decided to go back to Bangkok. We also took a chance to visit an Elephant Park along the way back.

It was a nice trip. Zzz! be quiet! Everybody in the car was sleeping for they had spent a lot of energy playing around on the beach and the park.