between friendship & goodbye

Some of my 'younger brothers' have set off for their new path they thought it would bring them bright future. I would not stop them, once they set their mind, for choosing their own life. We were not real brother, after all. We were born from different parents, different location, and brought up in different way of life. Our parents had never known each other before, to my understanding. We had no real blood connection to begin with. We were, actually, just colleagues who had worked together for about a year. They were late comers. I was three years their junior; yet, we had worked in different department, taking different responsibilities. Only one thing in common, we share the same office space. Now, they're gone, leaving two empty spots in the office.

At first, I felt a little bit strange about their absence. I had gotten use to their presence. The first day without their being, I felt that this office was missing something. After a while, I realized that it was their absence that I felt the sudden missing. I felt lonelier when they're gone. Because one of my 'older sister' who had been sitting next to me left me for another mission to somewhere far away. She'd gone abroad. Her absence had made me become a quiet person. I rarely talked to anybody in the office in the first few days. I missed her, I could not deny my true feeling. This 'sister' was not my real blood sister. But we had loved and supported each other as brother and sister. I called her "sister" and she, "brother." The time we had been together was memorable. She was a patient person. Our times being together had not always been the happy times. Sometimes we would jump into disagreement or argument. Sometimes I made her upset over nothing. Sometimes, all of sudden, we did not talk to one another. Sometimes I made her tears rolling down. However, she would compromise and I compromise, and we came together again. She was kind to me and this made me think of her. I was very grateful for this 'lovely sister' for being part of my life. I was born to a family with no female siblings. I had only brothers. My mother was the only female in the house. She was supposed to be the queen; yet, she had been the most hard-working person in my family. I had always wanted to have an older sister to look after all of us. This 'lovely sister' had filled the missing spot in my life. I loved her so much, and I apologized her for what I had done to her. I was not sure if she had ever realized about my feelings toward her. Her absence had brought a great silence to me. After her leaving, the other person who was close to me had also moved out to different department. Her moving had made my days grey. A dark cloud of silence had covered up my sky. I could not, sometimes, bear the lonely feeling inside me. I had to find way to tackle this lonely feeling. I chose to read books every time I was free from my work or talked to these 'two brothers.' And now, these so called 'two brothers' left me. Their leaving left me in absolute desperate condition. Sometimes, I would feel suffocation. I felt that I was going to be out of breath. The air surrounding me had been thinner that I could hardly catch my breath. My words had been less.

They all were very friendly. At the same time they were helpful. Age was not a matter of closeness. We had been out, though not very often, drinking, singing, dancing, traveling, and the likes. We were quite close. We had created our group, two of them, my friend, my niece, and my sister.

I knew that people would not be together for ever. I knew that parting moment would be there sooner or later, and that people who had been close to me leaving me one after the other. However, I wished the goodbye time would delay a bit longer that I would have enjoyed my life with the persons I loved and cared a bit longer. I had hated the most in my life the word 'Goodbye.' I had rarely used this word. I feared that once I used this word I would not have a chance to see the person again. Most of the time, I used the word 'See you' instead of the word 'Goodbye.' Though I did not want them to leave, I still wished the best for them. No matter what path they had set or were going to set foot on, I respected their decision. Only one thing I cared and hoped they would not forget: we were still brother, sister, and uncle. I hoped the friendship we had built would not fade away by time and space.

'never say never' by the fray

by jet