It's like going to hell to cut off a relationship with someone I had shared my life with for several years. I know that in a relationship there is bitter and sweet moment, unavoidably. However, our relationship was bitterer than sweet; and when it's time to clear things up everything got worst. Your clothes lying there on the floor in the wardrobe, your shadow sitting on the chair, your footstep cracking the wooden floor, your smell in the mattress, you name it, were there in my room. You were so cruel to leave everything with me. I want to throw it away, and I don't want to throw it away.
I am in a confused mess. I don't know what to do now. My heart really aches. I want to cry my heart out. My whole body has been chopped into small pieces when suddenly I have to change my daily routine from being a couple to a divorcee--the title that most people in my society regard as not-good. I know exactly that I would face many challenges after I've got divorce, socially and emotionally. The first thing I realize is that my heart is broken. I have cried for days to mourn my dead heart. I feel very pain as if someone take a sharp knife cut me open and I terribly bleed. It is very hard for me to adjust my composure. Despite emotional break down, I have to go to work as usual meeting people, and what's worst, I have to smile to them when my heart is crumbling.
to be continued...
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