The next evening, Lee is sitting on her desk next to the window, continuing her novel about Jingqiu and Old Third in Under the Hawthorn Tree. But, her mind is not with the book. Her mind is flying outside the window to somewhere faraway. She think about the guy she accidentally hit this morning when she was jogging in the National Stadium near Chulalongkorn. He was Cambodian national, the same as her. He said he worked for an environmental organisation in Phnom Penh and that he had been in Bangkok for a week for an environmental conference at Princess Hotel near the stadium. And today was the last day of his stay. He would leave for Phnom Penh this evening. His name was Ratha, he told Lee. Who is he? Lee murmurs to herself.
Suddenly, an unexpected rain starts pouring down from the grey sky. The heavy traffic is still moving on, slowly. There are more than ten million people residing, studying, and working in Bangkok, a pretty big number of people. They are almost the total population of the whole Cambodian peoples.
Lee looks outside the window at the pouring rain and thinks hard about that guy. He is very similar to someone I have known; yet, whom he is and where we have met, I could not tell. His smile and his voice is very familiar, Lee tells herself. But why can't I recall my memory? Why does my brain become this weak? She argues with herself. Narrowing her eyes, Lee struggles to call back her memory. Right, I remember now. He was the first person I had a crush on. She then blushes. It was a heavily rainy evening that I have met him. The story went like this...
It was a rainy evening. Lee was in grade 11 at that time. The rain heavily fell from the sky. It was time to leave her extra English language class. Yet, having no umbrella, Lee decided to stay on until the rain stopped. Lee had waited for almost half an hour, the rain didn’t stopped. Lee finally decided to walk back home under the rain. It was hard to walk under the heavy downpours without an umbrella. She had no choice. If Lee did not get home as soon as possible, her mother would worry sick. It was freezing cold. Her whole boy was soaking wet. Her hands were shaking as she walked. Once in a while she saw a passerby. There was no street lamp. Cambodia was not very developed at that time. If there was not the light of the houses lining along the road, everything would be pitch black. Lee felt very helpless and lonely and hungry. Her bag and the books inside were all wet. She had to reach home, no matter how cold or hungry she was.
A moment went by, another passerby went past her, riding Cambodian made bicycle. It was red. After passing by, the biker turned around and stopped just in front of Lee. She almost hit the bike. She stopped. Her hands were still shaking. The guy asked her if she’d like a ride home. She asked him if he knew her house. He said they were living in the same street. His house was on the south end and hers on the north end of the same street. He told her their street number in order to gain her trust. It was correct, and she believed him. No further consideration, Lee climbed on the back seat and left with him. By the look of his, Lee thought that he was in early 20s, tall, athletic, dark, gentle charming face, and broad smile. However, Lee could not tell if his hair was straight or curly because it was wet. His white shirt was also wet, reflecting his body. Lee told him that she wanted to get home as soon as possible because she did not want her parents to worry about her late going. He rode his bike with all his energy that he could collect. The bike started to fly through the rain, very fast. Fearing of falling off the bike, Lee held him tightly at his waist. Her head hit his back, occasionally. Inexplicably, her heart raced. She did not know why. Lee grabbed him tighter, as the bike went faster. Her hands were completely around his waist. He laughed, seeing Lee grabbed him hard. He told Lee not to worry. He assured her that she would not fell off the bike. Lee nodded, and her hands were still around his waist. His sweats mixed with rain drops. She smelled his body. It was strange. It was her first time to ride a bike with a total stranger and feel this way. She could not explain herself. Her heart raced against the speed of the bike. Once in awhile, her heart almost jumped out of her chest. Her face turned red. Beware of this, Lee tried to take long breath in order to calm herself down.
Not belong, the guy pressed the brakes and stopped, just in front of her house. In haste and shy, Lee got off the bike and ran into the house. Lee even forgot to say thank you or goodbye to the biker. After changing her clothes, Lee dried her hairs with a towel and sat down in a chair near her bed. She thought, was it a love at first sight? Why did I think like that? That guy and I had no connection or contact before, how come? It was just a hallucination. Yet, for the whole night Lee could not get her mind off him. She wanted to touch his athletic body and meet him again to say "thank you" that she had forgotten. Sadly, after that evening, Lee had never seen him again. She knew neither his name nor his house. The south end of the road was where his house located, he said; but, it was like the south end of the world that Lee would never touch upon. Lee had visited there for many times and no him to be found. They had never met each other again, not even once. Or was he a ghost? Lee was afraid. No. He was not. He was normal person. Maybe he had moved to somewhere else after the incident for some reasons. Lee comforted herself. After a while, Lee lost hope in seeing him, and with the passing time, he became part of her memory, the first person she had a crush on, she concluded.
Lee smiles, recalling back her memory. I knew it. He was that guy, the first guy I had a crush on when I was young. Lee feels nostalgic when she talks about him. The rain outside the window stops. Yet, the slow movement of the heavy traffic goes on. The cars barely move forward. Lee thinks for a time being. What if five years ago Cambodian people were selfish and unreasonable like today, would I become the victim of rape as what frequently appears in the morning news?! Lee sighs. Fortunately, five years ago, most Cambodian people were honest and helpful; unlike today's individualist and benefit-driven, and that guy was trustworthy, Lee tells herself.
To be continued...
