A Dream

"Do you miss me?" I whispered to myself. Most people said if you dreamed about something it meaned that the person was missing you and appeared in your dream. 

I dreamed about you last weekend. In my dream, we were not close, or we wanted to be close, but something pulled us back. We were at somewhere foreign to us. It was somewhere like a fishing community by a sea. The facilities were weathered and rusty. The structure was not sturdy. I could hear cracking sound when I stepped on the uneven, wooden floor. Some part of the hut was above the sea. I could see the wave from the tiny holes in the floor.

It was in the evening. The sun was no where to be found. Yet, it was not too dark that we could not see each other's face. We were getting ready for dinner. I was about to take a shower and you, suddenly, walked past me talking to a person. So I walked to the nearby hut, where you had walked in, to say hi. I poked my head into the hut for it had no door. I saw you taking a bath, naked. I remembered immediately your figure and shape - a body I had caressed and touched. A nostalgic memory flashed into my head. I was lost for a moment before you asked me if I was looking for something.

I was awakened yet stung. You acted that you had not seen me around here before, but your eyes, that pair of eyes, were different. They were soft and comforting as if I were fine. You looked around and I saw another person. I then excused myself and walked away. 

Sadly, I was awakened from my dream. I was regretted that I could not even give you a hug in the dream, for I desperately wanted to do in real life. I hoped you have been fine.

It was two a.m now. I could not get back to sleep. My body was exhausted but not my head. I lied down in bed with earphones in my head, thinking about you and us. The night was silent. The neighbors' dogs were all asleep. I could not hear their bark. The road, too, was quiet not even the sound of vehicle engine. Silence conquered the night. With the repeated music in my ears, it seemed I was alone in this dark night.

On, the music, my mind needed to rest now, for my energy was near zero. Goodnight!

We'd be better not be friends

Get used to hearing you share details of your life

Afraid of destroying the perfect balance

Keep the distance from a heart

You can’t hear my loneliness

I go back to the past and you fly to the future 

Meeting the right person misses the intersection 

Obviously you are already standing in front of me

But I kept waving and saying goodbye

Don’t be friends from now on.

Friends can’t hold hands.

The urge to love you can only be carried away with a smile

Best friend, some dreams cannot be told.

I don’t have to bear the heartache of losing you

 

Draw a safe skyline

No one is allowed to shed tears for us

Give up the chance to love someone well I want to see you happy forever

Don’t be friends from now on.

Friends can’t hold hands.

The urge to love you can only be carried away with a smile

Best friend, some dreams cannot be told.

I don’t have to bear the heartache of losing you 

It’s too much torture to hold back and lose control.

I’m doing it myself.

Memories are my wounds that can’t be healed

We will still be friends from now on.

You still understand me best.

We have a beginning and an end,

and we will reach the end of the world

Forever friends, bless me after I meet love

I will no longer be cowardly, hold those hands tightly

Closure by Hayd

Did we both fall in love

Before we were ready?

Or did we both give up

Before we were steady?

I don't know, I don't know, all I know

Is that now I'm alone

Were we both too scared?

Or were we well-prepared?

For the future and all

The mistakes that it bears

I don't know, I don't know, all I know

Is that now I'm alone

Yeah, these are questions in my head

Answers I won't get

Thoughts I never said

That I kinda wish I did

I guess sometimes you find the one

But the timing's off

The place is wrong

Maybe we would be closer

If we were a couple years older

I guess sometimes you fall in love

Then one day feels like you wake up

And everything's over

Without any closure

Did we both think that this

Was the best that we found?

Or were we too afraid

To have no one around?

I don't know, I don't know, all I know

Is that now I'm alone

Did we hope on a star

A bit too far?

Was the distance between

Too great for our hearts?

I don't know, I don't know, all I know

Is that now I'm alone

Yeah, these are questions in my head

Answers I won't get

Thoughts I never said

That I kinda wish I did

I guess sometimes you find the one

But the timing's off

The place is wrong

Maybe we would be closer

If we were a couple years older

I guess sometimes you fall in love

Then one day feels like you wake up

And everything's over

Without any closure

The First Morning of the New Year

What did you think about in the first morning of the new year?

It was the first day of the new year. The wind was a bit chilly but bearable. The sun shied away from the earth, poking half of her face. The sunlight was not as strong as its full force.

This morning was quiet. There was less traffic on the road. Perhaps, people were still in bed as they had stayed late last night for countdown. I was woken up from my sleep when people shouted, "happy New Year!" and the sound of fireworks outside my room. Hmmm, I did not plan to celebrate this. I wished myself a few new year wishes and went back to bed.  

I roamed the normal path to my parents' house. I did not think about anything in particular. I did not know what to think. Maybe, I lost the ability to think.

Random thoughts popped up in my head, but please do not ask me what they were. They were just random thoughts and nothing worth mentioning. Now, you insisted. Let me share with you some.

I thought if my motorbike was broken. I thought if I lost the balance. I thought if I was going to fall down. I thought about my plants at the office if someone helped me water them. I thought about going back to the office and what I should focus on first thing in the morning. I thought about buying coffee powder for I had finished it this morning. I thought about, again, nothing particularly important.

A boring new year morning, isn't it! Happy New Year, everyone!

One of the sisters: The Response

Everyone has his/her own crazily secret love story that is not the successful one. 

Our friendship was and has been the purest one. We met one another 12 years ago when we pursued our higher education in Thailand.

We argued a lot but never fell into real argument. I told you that we would never become boyfriend and girlfriend because our views were different. Yet, you told me that if I kept arguing with you, one day I would fall for you. I rejected your comment and how come you were so confident about that. We continued our school years like this, arguing, traveling, doing assignments, and working towards our graduation.

One day! One day, I confessed to you. You were true that if I kept arguing with you, I would fall for you without knowing it. But you were silent. We were silent. For quite sometimes we did not talk. I knew that you did not want to lose our friendship that's why you did not say anything when I confessed. Finally, we talked to one another again for I did not want to lose a friend like you too. But before we graduated, we made a crazy promise that when we reached 40 years old and were still single, we would get together.

Shortly after, we graduated and moved on to each of our own path. We talked once in a while. I still told my friends about you, whom I had confessed. We met sometimes when I visited your country. Our friendship was still strong.

Now, I was married and my man and two boys made me my family. And you visited and handed me a wedding gift you had bought 8 years ago on my wedding. I felt thrilled. I valued your time and commitment coming to meet me. I felt regret that I didn't get a chance to serve you even one glass of wine. I hoped to accompany you during your trip. Good night dear. I wish you a relaxed time closing the year 2023 and filled with powerful energy to start a new year 2024.